And so, it too shall pass. Much like the Chicago Cubs actually winning the World Series, one did not fully expect Axl Rose to ever actually release
Chinese Democracy. From time to time, "he" would enter our collective consciousness and "we" would entertain what it might be like...might it be the very thing we hoped it would be, another seminal cocksure album that would force feed 1000 volts through a standard 220 outlet.
After years and years of Axl not coming to terms with the reality that he had disengaged the rhythmic axle of Guns N Roses, and coming to terms that he was no longer the unifying axle of rock 'n roll, he decided to put one foot in front of the other to begin the long walk back. Universally mis-interpreted, he seemed to fade into the Hills of Hollywood churning through the dark night as a temperamental caricature no longer interested in strutting through the jungle but relegated to using the illusion of allusion to medicate his sequestered perception. During this time of prolonged creative isolation, he may have watched and literally lived
Pink Floyd's The Wall a few too many times.
So, in late October, TV spots began to air announcing the album's availability on November 23rd. Was it true? Could it really be? Well, then again, the past several months saw the Republic of China open itself to the Western World for the Beijing Olympics and the election of the 1st black President of the United States. With that confluence of events, anything seemed possible and so a perfect entry point for his long-awaited album appeared to be a clear choice.
This certainty begets the realization that although it had been 15 years of waiting
and not really waiting, the time was nigh. The world wasn't ending, but Chinese Democracy was
finally being released! Aside from a free Dr. Pepper to every citizen of the U.S. if the album was released in 2008 and a brief respite from the avalanche of bad economic news on a daily basis, this didn't seem like such a great time for "us". Past Guns N' Roses releases became soundtracks to live by as I did with
Appetite for Destruction for all of 1988. Perhaps that was also part of the "sudden" motivation because of the state of the collective primal fear residing in the emotional foundation of our country but even from a literal philosophical viewpoint, the concept loosely shot from the hip as 'Chinese Democracy' doesn't seem like the answer. Besides, even though we're more open in communication and collaboration with the Chinese as evidenced by their recent involvement in G-20, let's not get carried away with words of
Chinese Democracy.
In fact, there are some Chinese that are not happy about the album title. We, as a country, weren't friendly with China when Axl first named the album. Perhaps, he should have changed it to North Korean Democracy.
Though, perhaps, this album of "Democracy" would become
the democratic soundtrack for the times, like the folk music and protest rock of the late 60s / early 70s. Would it be a continuance of the sonic therapy that Metallica laid upon us with their menacing
Death Magnetic opus, an album that is surely indicative of the implosion of our confidence as a capitalist nation. Ironically, Metallica's Black album came out about a month before Use Your Illusion I & II and now comes Chinese Democracy two months after Magnetic. Further irony is that exactly one week after UYI was released came an album with a cover of a naked baby chasing a dollar bill in a swimming pool. The next phase of the rock revolution was on deck and both these titans of rock soon moved soon moved from co-headlining stadiums to the car pool lane as the Seattle supersonic raced by.
So, I began to put the word out there regarding my long-dormant excitement about the impending release and unexpectedly was rewarded by my buddy Matt from ATV who hocus-pocused me an early copy of the album...as about as early as anyone received a copy...including MTV and the frenzied attention-deficit bloggerati. I had it! Holy shit...it was like getting the Holy Grail! Typically, in our current got-to-have-it-now Twitterific world, I would usually be inclined to immediately digest, purge and move along. This was different. It was Chinese Democracy. 15 years in the making. A unique never-to-be-replicated artistic social experiment was seeking closure. "We" were subjected to wait for a new album by one of the most grandiose rock star egos on the planet for an entire generation. Some way-the-fuck-out-of-dodge tantric sex. The waiting and waiting for a climax for year after year to satisfy our junkie minds had left us unable to experience the climax. We're psychologically numb, though comfortably. We may have to wait another generation to fully engage with its presumed liberation but at least the healing has begun.
In the days of Appetite For Destruction, my existence was filled with much of the
Appetite for Self-Destruction that seemed to surround the members of Guns N' Roses. Since rock stars from David Lee Roth to Nikki Sixx to Slash indulged in
Jack Daniels, that too was my liquid poison. Those days are but a foggy memory but in honor of my private immersion in this new chapter, I would indulge in an expensive bottle of Dunham Syrah culled from grapes that once rested upon the Rattlesnake Hills in Walla Walla, WA. That seemed "rock" enough and besides, it was that or a bottle of
Caduceus Sensei, the top-of-the-line wine from Tool's Maynard James Keenan and that seemed like a conflict of rock.
Reidel N' Roses, I'm ready. Dim lights. Elevate volume. Clear mind. Swirl and swallow. Press play.
And, the journey began.
Of course, it would not be the bombast of
'Welcome To The Jungle' but a slower more mature seduction prowling about. Axl was seeking approval, wanting to mend the mood for the time he was away. And with the explosion of guitars, a modern reflection of the searing introduction of the 1987 debut, Axl's first words are 'It Don't Really Matter' and suddenly 5475 days of longing solicited a prophetic duality validating the virtual relationship between the listener and the composer.
And as I listened, those words never left me.
Is Chinese Democracy a meticulous motherfucker of a sprawling, at times masterful epic, assuaging the guttural instincts and sublime spirits of the human condition?
Mos definitely but...
It Don't Really Matter...
It's like the girlfriend from high school that we pined for all these years. Chinese Democracy was our Suzie Q, the epitome of unrequited love.
Now, that "we" have "it" in our reality after 15 years, we can recognize it for its superiority in beauty, composition, performance, modality, texture, sequence and production but we're also reminded of how the self-indulgent patriarch
slashed the tires on our family VW and set it off course. The nuclear family that we believed in, the one that rocked us, the one that provided us strength, the one that became the new model for anointed overlords, the biggest fucking band on the planet got a divorce but one that was malevolently appointed. Selfish and short-sighted, "we" were all left brandishing a newly formed primordial scar.
No amount of time, polish, energy, lilting melodies, shapeshifting vocal acrobatics and subtle newfound lyrical pleas for redemption can change this fact. What we're left with is an elaborate Axl Rose solo album. There was absolutely nothing democratic about the making of Chinese Democracy. So, a
new Guns N' Roses album is a distorted manipulation. Legally, he kept the band name but in reality, the acronym should be HGNR, for
"Hired" Guns N' Rose. Axl enlisted some of the finest talent of our time to help him plot every note, nuance, octave, harmonic, decibel and intonation but the chemistry and hence soul would not be replicated.
Imagine Robert without Jimmy, Steven without Joe, Eddie Van without David Lee, Mick without Keith, Bono without The Edge...the figurative parents of these dysfunctional families.
Axl without Slash is the mimicry of Guns N' Roses.
Hindsight is always 20/20. For now, "we" would have been better off if this album had never been released and we could have continued the fantasy, comfortably numb.
But years from now, when "our" latent anger issues have subsided; perhaps we will accept the glowing white rose of sanctity that Axl has tried to bestow upon us with passive-aggressive grace and insecure vigor. And, perhaps, at said time, Chinese Democracy will be practiced in the literal sense. And at such time, we'll all head down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Take. Me. Home.
Disclaimer: Although, over the past few days, there has been a tidal wave of reviews and blogs about Chinese Democracy, I have sought to keep my brain cleansed from the thoughts and leveraged opinions of others, even those of the esteemed
Chuck Klosterman whose
1700-word tome out-distances mine by a few hundred words. But now that I have binged
and purged, I am eager to set sail away from my isolated illusion and drift outwards to roam amongst the philosophical Pirates of the Somalian Caribbean.
Take. Me. Home.
The latest rock star to join the trend of collaborating with boutique wineries to create limited run liquid harvests is none other than Queensrÿche's Geoff Tate. In February, 190 cases of a Cabernet Sauvignon and Malbec-based blend will be released under the name INSANIA. Props to Tate for staying in his state, perhaps in mind but also in location as he chose Three Rivers Winery in Walla Walla, WA. The wine will be released just in time for Ryche's new American Solider opus, due out March 31. An American Soldier and An American Vintner shall be brothers in arms.
MacLachlan is a native of Yakima, WA which is about 1/2 way between Seattle and Walla Walla and the centerpiece of the Yakima Valley, one which rows some of the juiciest vines in the Western hemisphere. 
